Kate Moss 1

Fell in love with a girl...

I know I haven't been here in a long while...i've been busy and more then a little disgruntled recently. But i'm going to be posting more soon, since it seems that privacy is quickly dwindling around these parts.
No one should keep paper diaries unless they are living alone. Too many prying eyes. And all I want is to be left alone!
Ahh Angst and joy!
Since you are all painfully out-of-date as of late about my life, here goes nothing:
I've got a crush on a girl-actually two girls- one in my art class and another in my fourth hour. I've Tricks and S.O.S. Tricks is this golden-child artsy girl. I.E. Art teachers drool over her and so do I ;). She can paint, draw, her photographs are amazing! She's got great fashion sense, she seems laid-back and soft-spoken. But alas! She has a boyfriend! Like Tricks, S.O.S is an amazing artist too but we don't have art classes together just fourth hour. She's wicked smart, she has something ridiclous like a 3.7 GPA or something. She's a cute dressor too. She could model to pay for school, she's a sweet person with a husky voice.
Sometimes I wish I was more charming and suave but either way I don't think either one of them is bi/les. Ah, cruel fate. Ironically, we're reading Hamlet in AP english whoch has this "unrequited love" undertone between Ophelia and Hamlet. Pfff! Ophie has nothing on me! I could write a story about unrequited love that would knock ol' Billy out of the water. I'm not a real fan of Shakesphere, I don't get what was so special about him. But I digress.
OH and as if all this wasn't enough, Yesterday, my best friend-whom I call my other half- told me she lost her virginity and has a girlfriend (yes,my other half is also a girl). IS EVERYONE GETTING LAID BUT ME?? Hmmm. It seems like i'll NEVER lose it. Grrr (again).
Prehaps it's my secrect wanting to be "in" with the artistic kids.Art is important to me so it suprises me none that I'm into artsy girls/guys.I feel stupid. Very, very stupid. I can't wait until I leave this place and move to Chicago. Prehaps I'll FINALLY be able to lose it. I hope I can do alot of things in Chicago that I can't do here-like get laid. But there's still somethings I have to do here before I get out of here.
NUMERO UNO? L O S E W E I G H T! GRRR it's so frustrating. I'd kill to have Kate Mosses Physique.
Well nothing's going to change without me changing...God it sucks being a fat kid

~Yours in lust and Blubber, Seventeen Kisses
Kate Moss 1

In sleep he sang to me, In dreams he came. That voice that calls to me and speaks my name...

Yes, As you may have figured out I am watching Phantom of the Opera, the Emmy Rossum version (in case you're wondering).

Well, so far 2007 has started off with a BANG! Haven't been under 151 lbs for more then a few hours yet. Oh, Complusive Over Eating is the worst.

I hate being fat and pimply and a dwarf. One day, I want to be really beautiful like this model I just found on Supermodels. nl named Oksana Tkachuk (http://supermodels.nl/oksanatkachuk/pictures/1). I love models-so beautiful and full of grace. I really like Karen Elson, she reminds me of a red-haired Jean Harlow, prehaps it is the shaved eyebrows? (http://supermodels.nl/karenelson/pictures/1)

But Enough model talk. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT ME?????????? It seems like will never EVER beat this COED! All I want to do is eat and eat and all I think about is eating. I'll never achieve my goal weight. What I wouldn't give to be taller and skinner, to have some magical pill to correct all this. I'm cursed, that's what I am.
  • Current Music
    Phantom Of the Opera
Kate Moss 1

So let's give it up for the New Year

Goodbye 2006,
Good riddance to ya.
Hello 2007,
We expect better from you.
So let's give it up for the New Year.
We're finally going to lose weight, quit smoking, organize our lives, get out of debt, find the "one" and spend more time with our families.
We look ahead and erase all the bad yesterdays.
A whole new year, a whole new us!
We're going to win the gold. Get that pie in the sky.Belive we can fly.
And in 2008,
to lose weight, quit smoking, organize our lives, get out of debt, find the "one" and spend more time with our families.

~happy new year, Everyone~
  • Current Music
    Motion City Soundtrack
Kate Moss 1

I guess, If I must, then I will

Happy Holidays, all you lucky people.

Yes, I know I've said I hate Christmas and this is true to a point. I guess I hate an ASPECT of christmas I should say, I hate the spoiled rotten outer layer of the holiday season.
The simplest nature of it is what I like- Cookies, Christmas specials, carols, lights, Soy egg nog.
I wish there was a way to back to that intrinsic goodness of Christmas. I wish the Charles Dicken's 'A Christmas Carol' Christmas still exsisted. Isn't it hedious that we have to dig around for that? Digusting.
But anyway....Happy Holidays. Let your season be marry and unspoiled.
I don't miss God but I sure do miss Santa Claus.

An especially Happy Hoildays to the Colleges that will soon recieve my appilications:
Columbia College Chicago
U. Minn, Twin Cities

Be Dolls, why don't cha?

And as for Michigan? Well....,
Even a redneck state deserve a happy holiday.
  • Current Music
    Alkaline Trio~Crimson
Kate Moss 1

If you're going to San Fransico...

It's snowing here, albiet lightly but still. one of the downsides of losing weight is that during the winter you're never warm! Did I mention before that I hate Christmas and Thanksgiving? Well, I do. More time that I don't want to spend with Andre. Hooray ( major sarcasm). I should be doing my homework now but i wish my insides weren't so cold! Yeah, the heat's on and I am under TWO layers of blankets, but the sight of those little white flakes makes me freeze. I should get up and close the blinds, not like any light's coimg in anyway.

oodles, Seventeen Kisses
  • Current Music
    everything...Ipods on shuffle
Kate Moss 1

I don't love you like I loved you yesterday...

I've come to the conclusion that marriage is not for me. I'm criticzing marriage for others, My parents are married (maybe even happily). So you would think I believe in the institution. But I don't, I don't understand why as children, specifically Girls (even in modern day america) are expected/encouraged to think up elborate wedding fantasies with the perfect groom to match as an expectation in life. Then they spend the rest of their lives hunting for that man. It's like that song in "fiddler on the roof"; "matchmaker, matchmaker!".There are women who consider themselves spinsters at 30. It's just so abusrd, this obsession with finding the "one". But at the same time 60% of americans get divorced (yes, it's gone up), many of these the parents of those daydreaming young girls.
Why is marriage a "special" anyway? it's less paperwork to breakup with a boyfriend then an husband. I actually think that it is ironic that the ones in america who have the most successful realtionships are the gays! I guess it's ironic because we in the heterosexual community have had the message "Gays can't marry because marriage is a sacred bond between a woman and a man, blah, blah, blah, going to hell, bla, blah, blah". Well the truth is that it's not sacred at all. Not in the country that watches "Who wants to marry a millionare?", "The Bachlor" and "Joe Millionaire". Oh, and that whole 60% thing.
Contrary to what we've been told bybpresident Bush and that idiot blonde cohost, Elisabeth from "the view" -who I suppose thinks that just because she has achieved the "american" dream of being a vapid mother married to football player, that we should all aspire to that (but I digress greatly). Gays have the right idea. Life partner. Sure gay people argue, fight and breakup like heteros do but they key here is because (largely because they can't) aren't in a stampede to get to the alter they can take it easy and actually get to know their partners rather then worrying about when the ring's coming.
As for children, I would still want to be a mother. I think moms and dads have the most important job in the world. But what do rings have to do with parenthood? There are children who have married parents and yet are utterly neglected or abused or subjected to their parent's loveless marriages/divorces. Not that everyone is like that. At one time my parent's had a loving marriage. Maybe for legal reasons, i'd get a civil union. But still the point is isn't it better to have love then rings? What good is aring that lasts forever if the love that ring is supposed to represent dissapers?
I can't emphasize enough that not all people get divorced. There is that 40%. Just because I don't believe in marriage doesn't mean I don't believe in love. Actually, it's because I believe in love I don't believe in marriage. I belive in a love free of restraints and institutions. I don't believe that Marriage isn't the end-all-be-all of love. There are people who make it work without the rings EX: Tom & Katie, Angelina & brad, Gene Simmons. Not that anyone should try to imulate Gene Simmions to closely but still, He is happily (faithfully) unmarried.
in conclusion, the purpose of this little rant is that alot more people would be more happy if they thought of marriage as the exception and not the rule. Get married if you want, I hope all goes well but for god's sake THINK before you do it! But do not misunderstand me; I don't not believe in love. I do very much, in fact. I don't belive that people were meant to be alone even if they don't get married. I believe that while marriage in this country is a between a man and a woman, love is between both hetero and homosexuals. My greatest wish as far as romance would be to be to be a "cindrella spinster"- that is an unmarried but happily in love indidual.

Happy Cinderella Spinsterhood (or prince-charming-spinsterhood for the males) to you all!
  • Current Music
    My Chemical Romance~The Black Parade
Kate Moss 1

(no subject)

Should I bother applying to Columbia, Cornell or Brown?
probably should save my money and time

peace be with you,
  • Current Music
    FFTL~dear diary, my teen agnst has a body count
Kate Moss 1

you're dying from love and you're bleeding

Yesterday was WLC's Homecoming. My last. God, that feels weird to say, wasn't I like 14 yesterday?
Not really but times flys, before long I'll be accepted by (X) College and that'll be the end of childhood as I know it.
And i'm so excited. I hear people say they dread that day, that they want to stop time or they don't want to grow up. Ridiculous, not only because you can't but because life is wonderful the whole way through. I'm actually looking forward to all of it. Never fear the unknown.
BTW...Central won against Stevenson, 33 to 0! GO VIKINGS! That was the first game I actually paid attention to, Amanda explained Football to me. I kinda get it.


  • Current Music
    Aiden~Nightmare Anatomy